I decided to switch to protonmail when my mail server died because "they can do a better job than I can, it will be easier, more private, and it's worth the added cost".
Of course they can't fucking receive some of my emails, including login tokens for discord & my bank.
I just typed, in an email to their customer support, that unless they can solve this issue I'll just go back to hosting my own email server because "it seems less of a headache"
Computers have always been an escape for me.
When computers have issues it is my fault, I made a mistake. There is no human element: I have complete control, in contrast to many painful events in my life. The computer is not being malicious or judgemental, the computer cannot traumatize me. It just takes an instruction and executes it.
I think, on an emotional level, that is why I cling so much to libre software. My computer is the one thing I have control over. Don't take that from me.