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#dadjokes

4 posts4 participants0 posts today
WhatDoesTheFoxSay?<p>Q: Why do optometrists make such lousy lovers?<br>A: Because they keep asking, "Better like this, or better like this? Better like this, or better like this?"<br><a href="https://mstdn.party/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.party/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
LaffGaff<p>I started a new job as a delivery man today. When I got to my first address there was a sticky note on the door saying, “Dear Mr delivery man, we’re out, please hide in garage.”</p><p>That was eight hours ago and still nobody’s found me.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>He felt his presents.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
George Baily<p>The no1 motivator for me to get a doctorate would be to apologize for being unproductive at work, explaining I have APHD</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
Eve :verified:<p><a href="https://swiss.social/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <br>What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.</p>
GeneralX<p>Here's how to prevent screenshots from being taken in Windows Recall:</p><p>Turn off the screen.</p><p><a href="https://freeradical.zone/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://freeradical.zone/tags/privacy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>privacy</span></a></p>
Church of Jeff<p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ShitIFind" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ShitIFind</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/AlbertEinstein" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>AlbertEinstein</span></a></p>
Stewart Tolhurst<p>It wasn’t a sock!<br>It was a Sock Lobster!<br><a href="https://tech.lgbt/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://tech.lgbt/tags/B52s" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>B52s</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"<br>"Pop," goes the weasel.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>I'll let you know.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
ƧƿѦςɛ♏ѦਹѤʞ<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://universeodon.com/@SrRochardBunson" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>SrRochardBunson</span></a></span> <br>Not as a rule.<br><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Geometry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Geometry</span></a><br><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Sir Rochard 'Dock' Bunson<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@spacemagick" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>spacemagick</span></a></span> I think it's uh cute that you say that, but I hope you're not being obtuse. </p><p><a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Geometry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Geometry</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
ƧƿѦςɛ♏ѦਹѤʞ<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://universeodon.com/@SrRochardBunson" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>SrRochardBunson</span></a></span> <br>I'm sure you'll get a round to it.<br><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Geometry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Geometry</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Sir Rochard 'Dock' Bunson<p>I can't stop making <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Geometry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Geometry</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> because I'm a square.</p>
OhSnap!Dragon<p>🎵 🎶 (Moody Irish synth music)<br>"And who can say where the road goes...?"<br>Um, Google Maps.<br>🤨 <br><a href="https://lounge.town/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://lounge.town/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>It's difficult to say what my wife does, she sells sea shells by the sea shore.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
weirdjokes<p>My boss calls me "the computer"<br>Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br>👍<br>Hot Jokes<br><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Fantasy for the Ages<p>Dad Joke Alert: Let's bring a little sci-fi into the groaning action today. <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://youtube.com/shorts/vsti77nubts" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">youtube.com/shorts/vsti77nubts</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Michael Crews<p>Ego and Superego walk into a bar. The bartender says “I’m gonna need to see some Id.”</p><p><a href="https://mas.to/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://mas.to/tags/psychology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>psychology</span></a> <a href="https://mas.to/tags/freud" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>freud</span></a></p>
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