A tiny story about creating community:
When I started to attend the ACM’s CHI (Computer Human Interaction) conference in the late 1980s, I didn’t know any other lgbtq people who worked in my field. At that time being out and gay was still really fraught, and could get you fired or ostracized in a lot of places. I myself was recently out, and felt a real lack of community.
Back then, before mobile phones, conferences had “message boards”. They were big cork bulletin boards put up in a central location. To leave a message for someone, you would write them a paper note, fold it up, write the recipient’s name on it and pin it to the board. People would check the boards for messages during the day.
The second year I went to CHI, I put a note on the message board that said “Lambda CHI lunch”, with a little pink triangle on it, and a time and place to meet. (In the 80s, gay folk knew what the pink triangle meant, but most straight people had no idea. “Lambda” was another symbol used by the gay community, although you see it less nowadays. I figured any bigot looking at the note would just assume it was for a fraternity.)
I waited with some trepidation at the meeting point, wondering if anyone at all would come. Was I the only one? Was my note too cryptic? To my delight, a crowd of about 10 people showed up, including one of the conference chairs. We had a great lunch, and I made some contacts I stayed in touch with over the years, some of whom later provided great support and mentorship to young me.
I organized Lambda CHI lunches for a few years, and after I stopped attending CHI, others did. Of course, decades later these kind of affinity socializing events have become part of official conference schedules.
The point of this story is that there is a lot of potential community in the world, just waiting for one person to seed it — to put out that first invitation with a time and place on it. At that first lunch, so many people said to me “I’m so glad somebody organized this”. So if there is a community that you wish existed, I encourage you to remember that you are somebody, and are therefore well qualified to start it. Sometimes all you need to do is specify a place and time.